


How Could I?

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-02
Updated: 2006-03-02
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:58:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8078875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Malcolm keeps Trip at a distance even though they are involved sexually.  (01/30/2003)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

Trip stared out into the swirling blackness of space; his normally animated features curiously blank. It was two in the morning and he wasn't getting any sleep tonight, or any night until Malcolm worked off the four consecutive night shifts he was pulling in order to pay off a lost bet with his friend Travis. 

"How did this ever happen to me?" Trip thought with an inward sigh, how could I fall for someone who couldn't feel? How could I fall for Malcolm Reed" 

Trip knew how it had happened; he had been feeling lonely and vulnerable one night after mail from his family had intensified his homesickness to a dull roar. That same night Malcolm had come by his quarters and made an offer that Trip couldn't--"didn't" his inner voice amended--turn down. 

All along Malcolm had stressed the fact that he wasn't in need of a relationship; that he didn't want or need the complication. "In fact," Trip grimaced as his inner voice spoke up again, "Mal made it explicitly clear that if you did show any inclination of that sort he would dump your ass." Trip sighed yet again. 

Was it his fault that now he only slept when Reed was in his arms? Was it his fault that his heart sped up when Reed was in the room or he caught a glimpse of him in the corridors? Was it wrong that he thought their relationship should be more than just sex? That he wanted a connection with someone on this ship, that someone being the tactile officer? No it wasn't! He was lonely and this nagging feeling of being used was not helping anything. 

With a sound of disgust Trip turned from where he had been standing for the better part of an hour pretending to look at the repairs to the warp coils on his PADD. This train of thought was not getting him anywhere, and it sure as hell wasn't making him feel better. Oh well, he checked his watch. Mal should be getting off his shift, and he would have an hour break between that and his next shift. Trip felt his heart speed up at the hope that Mal would come and 'see' him tonight.

___________________________________

They lay in Trip's bed together legs and sheets tangled, the room smelling of sex. Trip lay with his head on Malcolm's chest and played with the lightly furred skin.

"Mal, I-," Trip started 

"Trip, you know I hate nicknames" Malcolm interrupted 

"Uh yeah sorry." Trip was embarrassed and gave an apologetic smile. "It's just that I was wondering if, well, we could have dinner together tomorrow?" Malcolm turned his head away from Trip, "Sure, if you want to." 

Trip let the less than cheerful agreement pass without comment. Surely this was a step in the right direction. He let the comfort and warmth of the other man seep over him and lull him into a peaceful sleep that would last until the Armoury officer left. 

Malcolm lay awake, staring at the ceiling, He hated to cuddle, and as an added annoyance Trip's cabin was a mess, as usual. It was a wonder the man ever got anything done at all. 

Malcolm looked down at Trip, this man was dangerously close to breaking down his reserve. In fact, Malcolm was noticing that he was happiest whenever Trip was near him. This was totally unacceptable. He had come to Trip's quarters because he had seen Trip watching him, and he was becoming bored with the younger crewmen and women on Enterprise. All he had wanted was sex and that was what he had gotten. Hot, satisfying sex with a real man. But somehow things had changed. 

Malcolm sighed as Trip threw his arm across Malcolm's chest, and snuggled in closer. Trip was getting under his skin, making him think that sex might not be enough, that he might like a relationship. With Trip he had gotten much more than he expected. 

Malcolm frowned as he caught himself absently stroking Trip's arm as his mind wandered. He snatched his hand away; mentally berating himself for the momentary lapse, the stroking was unnecessary.He had begun doing many things that were unnecessary, like catching himself grinning broadly as he snuck out of Trip's quarters early in the morning or being so scared for Trip's safety after the incident with Zobral that it took all of Malcolm's control not to run to see Trip in sickbay after he had returned. 

"Oh bloody hell," Malcolm felt his face contort into a comical expression of horror as the realization that he cared for Trip dawned upon him. "Bloody, buggering...what the-!" Malcolm exclaimed as he fell off the bed with a resounding thump in his haste to escape his thoughts. 

"Whaaa?" Trip woke up the loud noise and the fact that his pillow had just disappeared rather suddenly. He turned over to see a very pissed Malcolm getting dressed. After noticing Malcolm's expression he quickly decided not to tell Mal that he was putting on his shoes and socks before his uniform. "Whatcha doing Malcolm? C'mon get back inta bed." Trips voice was soft from sleep and thick with his southern accent as he put his hand onto Malcolm's shoulder. 

"Bloody Hell" Malcolm swore again as he realized that he was going to be late because he had gotten dressed wrong. He knew it was all because of this strange attraction to Trip he was going through. "NO Trip" He snapped as he finished grooming himself "I do not have time for this right now." 

Malcolm didn't mean to snap like that, he did not mean to be the cause of the hurt that flared up into Trip's blue eyes but he turned and walked out the door without saying another word anyway. He was angry, at Trip, at himself and at the rest of the world for making him care when he shouldn't.

___________________________________

He didn't show for breakfast.

Trip slammed his face into the re-sequenced scrambled eggs and stayed there. He knew Mal was pissed last night, though God knows what he had done to deserve it Trip thought while in his eggs. "Wait a minute" his inner voice piped up, "why was it his fault if Mal had gotten his panties in a bunch?" Trip sighed as he finally left the safe haven of his eggs, brushing the remaining pieces off his face. It was going to be one of those days. 

"The damn Brits and their reserve can go shove it up their-." Trip trailed off as a bunch of crewmembers walked by, concern for the senior officer sitting alone mumbling to himself etched on their faces. 

Malcolm sat on his immaculate bed, alone in his quarters. It had been a long time since he was alone in here, and it felt... empty. He was wondering what was missing, when he realized that it was a certain brazen Southerner. Malcolm let his head sink into his hands. When had it all gone wrong? When had he lost all interest in any of the other crewmembers? He had been with other people in the first few weeks of him having sex with Commander Tucker, but eventually he found that they just didn't interest him. 

"Oh Shit" Malcolm's head snapped up as he realized that he was late for his breakfast with Tucker. "Oh well it was probably better this way," he thought. He did not want Trip getting any ideas. Still Malcolm had to consciously turn into the armory instead of the mess hall. 

"It's better this way, I don't want him too close" Malcolm kept saying to himself, but he had to wonder why it hurt so much. 

~the end~


End file.
